My Crazy Yet Beautiful Life

Perfection. It's what many of us strive for, practically live for, and desire to have in our lives. But no one outside of God is perfect. So, why do we all strive for something that will never truly exist here on earth? I don't have that answer and it's not why I'm writing this out for you. I'm here to write about my need for perfection and how I've found ways to combat it, especially this year. Owning a house is something so exciting but learning new routines in cleaning and completing projects has brought on a sense of overwhelm in my life that has made 2020 even harder than expected. I want my house to look clean and perfect, and that is just not life. Some days are just plain hard, and the worst chore is dishes. We don't have a dishwasher so a sink full of dishes after a full day of work sometimes doesn't get done, even though I strive to wash them every night. Some weeks are great. I do the dishes, shower, relax and go to bed. Most weeks are not lik...

On June 1st, 2020, my heart broke. The world was in turmoil (and still is) over Covid-19, the murders of black people, and politics. But that isn't what completely broke me. What broke me was social media. Now, social media is a great tool but it became a source of stress for me. Everyone, it seemed, had to put their opinion out into the world. I don't have cable or even local channels from an antenna, so I didn't know things until Facebook or Instagram had posts about it. It's the worst way to learn bad news in the world. I lost one of my grandpas in April and unexpectedly, my uncle a few weeks later. After losing my grandma last year and going through so much to buy our first home, I was hoping for a fresh start in 2020. Then covid hit and more familial death came. Work became different as everyone decided to work from home full time. I was grieving all this so hard still going into June that I couldn't take on any more grief, let alone form an opinion of the happ...