Letting Go of Perfection

Perfection.

It's what many of us strive for, practically live for, and desire to have in our lives. But no one outside of God is perfect. So, why do we all strive for something that will never truly exist here on earth? I don't have that answer and it's not why I'm writing this out for you. I'm here to write about my need for perfection and how I've found ways to combat it, especially this year.

Owning a house is something so exciting but learning new routines in cleaning and completing projects has brought on a sense of overwhelm in my life that has made 2020 even harder than expected. I want my house to look clean and perfect, and that is just not life. Some days are just plain hard, and the worst chore is dishes. We don't have a dishwasher so a sink full of dishes after a full day of work sometimes doesn't get done, even though I strive to wash them every night. Some weeks are great. I do the dishes, shower, relax and go to bed. Most weeks are not like that and then the weekend comes, I say "Let's get ahead on cleaning!" and nothing happens. I tend to go off and work on another project before what needs to get done actually gets done, then I overwhelm myself. Welcome to the life of a perfectionist. 

I've been busy at work at the same time Caleb is putting in 45+ hours a week at work. The house and yard work then got pushed aside. We have an adorable beagle (below) who demands attention so we give everything to her when we're busy. But then what happened was that there was no balance. Oh my goodness. Talk about getting overwhelmed. Work, work, and more work piled up and all I wanted to do was finish it all at once. Step 1 in combating my perfectionist side was to take it one day at a time, one task at a time, even if that means pushing back something a day or two, aka balance.

What I've learned in the past few years, and especially this summer, is that aside from balance, I need routine. Now, routines can be moved around and/or changed based on the week. However, it's best to be consistent. I'm not going to lie, routines are still hard for me. Life was a lot easier back in college when I had way less free time so cleaning and laundry and all those life things were done in a more timely matter because of a time crunch. How crazy is that? I know it's because it has been nice having free time since graduating college. But I also know, to really enjoy my free time, I need to get chores done and having a better routine has done the trick.

Balance and routine are the two main things I use to combat perfectionism. Humans are not perfect and I will never understand why there is so much pressure to "do it all". I refuse to be that person who does it all but then has no time to love on those around me. I can only hope that if Caleb and I have kids, I will give myself the grace I've been learning to give myself recently. I will make plenty of mistakes, just like I always have, because I am only human, and the beauty in really knowing this reality has really helped me enjoy life even more this year.